Simply Inspired

Yesterday night I was inspired by a band, this morning I was enlightened by a poet (I originally wanted this blurb published on Tuesday... but school got in the way)

No matter how much people try to tell you who they think you are, or however much they insist that they can "read you like a book", the ultimate authority in who you are is you... they may be the ones doing the reading, but you are still the author; constantly writing and shaping your story. Identity: who am I and who do I want to be? Well, its all up to yourself, eh? "You are your own best expert": its one of the simplest notions out there, but I had to be reminded of this fact recently by a surprise guest lecturer at UTSC of all places.

Perhaps enlightened is too strong a word to be used in this case, but Ian Kamau (who toured with K-os, but chose to end that partnership because he didn't want sacrifice parts of his message to appeal to the greatest amount of people) sure did cast a light on my own neglected identity placed at the backburners. These past few months I've been exposed to many new things that have been leaving me with a wishy-washy kind of feeling towards myself. My own gloomy feelings towards myself, when they came into direct contact with Ian Kamau's strong sense of self served to make his persona unbelievably bright to me on that fateful mourning. Though I am still hesitant to engage with people who have too strict/impenetrable a belief-system, I now know once again that having well-formed opinions of your identity based on experience and an awareness of who you are is an attractive quality to possess. I know who I am, I recognize where I come from, and I know what I want... I've made many tough decisions to help define myself and I'm not about to forfeit parts of it to please others. "Only you know who you truly are".

I know what kind of people I want to share my life with and those whom I'd much rather, put very bluntly "fall off a cliff"*. Who you choose to surround yourself with is a fundamental reflection of who you are as a person. I guess this thought is made even more poignant in that I was recently disappointed in the reflection I saw of an acquaintance through his friends. I am actually quite grateful now that I've had time to reflect because I realise that I do have a strong will/sense of self and that my values and beliefs are more dear to me than anything that could have come out of continuing this, at best, weak relationship. I've also figured out that I don't like people who deny or entirely reject their own identity/community, but that's another story. The re-discovery that I am not a opinionless, mindless, passionless person makes me sense my spirit is burning brighter now more than ever.

Thank you to Muse and to Ian Kamau, both Artists in all senses of the word.


* - Originally quoted by Madeline